How to Make Long-Distance Relationships Work: Dos and Don’ts
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| Oct 8, 2021
Introduction
A long-distance relationship or LDR is a relationship that is generally conducted over some distance between the parties.
While a long-distance relationship is not impossible, it can certainly have its challenges along the way. These challenges can be more difficult to overcome if the distance is vast between the 2 people.
You may wonder why people have long-distance relationships, as some people view it as not being the ideal solution or indeed a traditional setup. Still, some people choose this way of having a relationship, either temporary or permanent.
Relationships are personal choices as to how they are conducted, and long-distance versions can come about under so many circumstances, such as:
- The 2 people met online, and they could have states, countries, or even continents between them. Still, there is a connection that cannot be broken even with the distance.
- One person in the relationship might work away, maybe serving in the military or having their main base work in a different state or country.
- It could be personal preference that 2 people in a relationship conduct it over a long distance; they might prefer things that way or have commitments that root them to where they are currently living.
- One person might have to go away for weeks or months at work, such as lorry drivers or international speakers.
Whatever the reason, we have to understand that sometimes it’s not ideal, but sometimes it might be wholly deliberate!
But the critical question is, what are the Dos and Don’ts of a long-distance relationship to keep it healthy and strong?
1. Communication
Effective and open communication is by far the most essential part of any relationship, but more specifically for a long-distance relationship!
Do:
- Schedule times to voice and video call
- Respect any time differences there are between you
- Send messages often
- Make sure the calls are in a quiet space to be attentive
- Be private where needed
Don’t:
- Call each other in busy places or public
- Communicate if you are frustrated or angry
- Use the communication as a way to complain
- Try to communicate effectively if you are tired or driving
2. Visiting each other
Suppose you have a long-distance relationship for whatever reason. In that case, it is always super special to meet with one another to get that feeling of actual togetherness.
If you are in a stable marriage or long-term relationship where you know the other person very well, indeed, this can bring about a lovely feeling of union and security when you can see, hold, and feel them.
Caution should be applied, however, if you meet someone you have met online. Regardless of how well you think you may know someone, there could always be something different that could occur at that first meeting, so you may want to consider going with a friend or family member.
3. Dealing with jealousy
Jealousy is an emotion that can occur in any relationship, so it’s not an exclusive emotion to a long-distance relationship. However, the distance between a couple may increase jealousy and potentially exacerbate any issues that arise around jealousy.
Jealousy can occur for so many reasons if distance separates you. This can come from who you are spending time with to why the other person is not picking up calls. It could be borne out of insecurity, so you must:
Do:
- Be open and honest with your schedule
- Make time to make the other person feel safe and secure
- Reassure the other person of the strength of the relationship
Certainly don’t:
- Ignore the other person unnecessarily
- Give them a reason to question your moves or behavior
- Goad or tease the other person to make the matter worse
4. Fun ‘date’ nights
You’ll be pleased to know that date nights can still be a massive part of your long-distance relationship! Although they may take a bit more organizing than just popping to the best restaurant together, they can still be exceptional and memorable.
Here is what you can do:
- Schedule a specific time and date that suits you both, and stick to it
- Agree on the movie to watch or playlist to listen to that will carry you through the evening together, which can be played on both sides.
- Agree on a meal you will either cook together or both have delivered simultaneously so you can sit down and eat together.
- Agree on lighting, wine, and snacks that you can both duplicate, so you have the same things together.
- Dress up as if you were going to go out together or agree to a theme of dress, such as pajamas or loungewear.
Don’t:
- Cancel without prior warning or good reason
- Let the other person down for arrival times
- Miss out on any of the plans
- Be distracted with other commitments
- Fall asleep
5. Be honest if something isn’t working
Lifes moves along, regardless of what you do or don’t do. Hence, it’s always best to be honest when something does not feel right or you feel uneasy about having any further confidence in the relationship moving forward.
The conversation should be exactly as you would have if the other person was standing in front of you, so it may be best to have conversations like this via a video call.
Here are some things you must do:
- Schedule a call with the other person and express its importance
- Express your feelings clearly
- Be as honest about your reasoning as possible
- See if there is a solution first
In respects of the Do’s, here are some equally crucial don’ts:
- Don’t ghost the other person until it goes away
- Don’t shout and scream or feel the need to get angry
- Don’t dismiss what the other person is saying
- Don’t hang up on the other person during the call
Sometimes, things don’t work out when people live in the same house, which is true in long-distance relationships. If something doesn’t feel right, it must be addressed.
6. Deciding to move to where they are
This is a huge consideration!
If you are in a long-distance relationship and one of you decides to move to be with the other, there are so many things that need to be taken into consideration as to how to execute the move flawlessly, including:
- Making sure it is the right decision for you
- Making sure that everything you may leave behind is taken care of
- Making sure you have somewhere to live, a job, and a school for any children going with you
- Making sure you have enough money to make the journey comfortably
And here’s what you must not do:
- Just up and leave with no warning
- Turn up on the other person doorstep unannounced
- Decide on a whim
- Move to someone you have never personally met
- Don’t be unorganized
Of course, on rare occasions, this move could be amazing with no planning and operation in place (or forewarning). Still, it is a risky move and should not happen!
Conclusion
Long-distance relationships can occur for many reasons; some can be enforced reasons, and some reasons can be a choice.
Overall, a long-distance relationship can have as many high points and bumps in the road as any other conventional relationship. Yes, it may be more challenging in certain areas, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t work beautifully if it’s meant to be.
Whether the distance between you is permanent, temporary, or somewhere in between, you can make the most of the relationship you have by scheduling those important calls, making time for each other, and embracing everything you have together, rather than focusing heavily on the things you may not have.
A little extra effort and a whole lot of love can keep your long-distance relationship flourishing for as long as it feels happy and natural and right to continue it.
